The pictures do tend to surprise me more times then not, because every time I'm in a Walmart I see some unattractive people, but nothing that goes this far. I've never had a "walmart moment" until yesterday. Unfortunately I was the offender. In my defense let me start by saying that it was late, it was dark out, and I was in a big rush. It's "cooler season" for college kids - meaning I have excited freshmen girls calling me in desperate need for a well decorated mountain weekend cooler and normally at the last minute (really important stuff I know)! Therefore I hopped in the car and drove swiftly over to my local wally world for none other than a bright red cooler with wheels. As I pulled up to park something came over me. A feeling. A soft feeling.......between my toes. I looked down. In the quick flee to my car I guess I forgot to put on shoes....or change. Still wearing my slippers, or what I would like to call now - my house shoes - I picked up the phone and immediately called my roommate, Meredith. It would have been ok except for what else I had on. Large sweatpants from college, a big hoody, accompanied by my newly dyed jet black hair for what will soon be the most amazing Snooki costume you've ever seen. I looked like a hot mess. Big time. If I were in my own home I probably would have changed if I knew someone was stopping by....big time bummin it. With that, and the laughing support of Meredith, I got out of the car and tried to assure myself that there HAD to be someone who looked as disheveled as me inside those sliding doors. Nope. Like my experience with the church goers a few Sundays ago (read: I Know Better), eyes looked me up and down with a bit of disappointment. Really people?! It's Walmart, where are these high expectations coming from? and where are all the rednecks I normally see? So what did I do....I decided to play "college student". Poor, tired, hungry, with a touch of hangover. I rocked those slippers - which again, in my defense looked like house shoes. I also think that my scary hair gave a hint of bad ass attitude, kind of like a "don't mess with me, I may have a gun in this hoody" vibe. I got my cooler and headed to the cashier. She did a full inspection of the cooler to make sure I wasn't stealing anything. Good thing, too, because in my race to the sporting goods section I forgot I had placed a roll of duct tape inside so I wouldn't have to carry it. Great, now her and Betty Lou the greeter think I tried to pull a fast one on them......I had what she thought was 'guilt' written all over my face, when really I wanted to tell her it was 'embarrassment'. If you know me, when placed in uncomfortable situations I start to sweat. By my appearance it definitely appeared that paying the $6 for duct tape seemed out of the question, though she believed it was an honest mistake. Lesson #2 this month for support of - when in public, get your sh*t together.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
My version of the "People of Walmart"
We all get those email forwards. You know, "The People of Walmart" ones where you see butt crack after butt crack, followed by back boobs, the occasional mullet, or really hairy man in tight pants.....or woman, with, well, no pants. These forwards have made there way around so much, that now when I get one I don't even laugh but quiver or erase the email entirely. There's even a music video about it....
The pictures do tend to surprise me more times then not, because every time I'm in a Walmart I see some unattractive people, but nothing that goes this far. I've never had a "walmart moment" until yesterday. Unfortunately I was the offender. In my defense let me start by saying that it was late, it was dark out, and I was in a big rush. It's "cooler season" for college kids - meaning I have excited freshmen girls calling me in desperate need for a well decorated mountain weekend cooler and normally at the last minute (really important stuff I know)! Therefore I hopped in the car and drove swiftly over to my local wally world for none other than a bright red cooler with wheels. As I pulled up to park something came over me. A feeling. A soft feeling.......between my toes. I looked down. In the quick flee to my car I guess I forgot to put on shoes....or change. Still wearing my slippers, or what I would like to call now - my house shoes - I picked up the phone and immediately called my roommate, Meredith. It would have been ok except for what else I had on. Large sweatpants from college, a big hoody, accompanied by my newly dyed jet black hair for what will soon be the most amazing Snooki costume you've ever seen. I looked like a hot mess. Big time. If I were in my own home I probably would have changed if I knew someone was stopping by....big time bummin it. With that, and the laughing support of Meredith, I got out of the car and tried to assure myself that there HAD to be someone who looked as disheveled as me inside those sliding doors. Nope. Like my experience with the church goers a few Sundays ago (read: I Know Better), eyes looked me up and down with a bit of disappointment. Really people?! It's Walmart, where are these high expectations coming from? and where are all the rednecks I normally see? So what did I do....I decided to play "college student". Poor, tired, hungry, with a touch of hangover. I rocked those slippers - which again, in my defense looked like house shoes. I also think that my scary hair gave a hint of bad ass attitude, kind of like a "don't mess with me, I may have a gun in this hoody" vibe. I got my cooler and headed to the cashier. She did a full inspection of the cooler to make sure I wasn't stealing anything. Good thing, too, because in my race to the sporting goods section I forgot I had placed a roll of duct tape inside so I wouldn't have to carry it. Great, now her and Betty Lou the greeter think I tried to pull a fast one on them......I had what she thought was 'guilt' written all over my face, when really I wanted to tell her it was 'embarrassment'. If you know me, when placed in uncomfortable situations I start to sweat. By my appearance it definitely appeared that paying the $6 for duct tape seemed out of the question, though she believed it was an honest mistake. Lesson #2 this month for support of - when in public, get your sh*t together.
The pictures do tend to surprise me more times then not, because every time I'm in a Walmart I see some unattractive people, but nothing that goes this far. I've never had a "walmart moment" until yesterday. Unfortunately I was the offender. In my defense let me start by saying that it was late, it was dark out, and I was in a big rush. It's "cooler season" for college kids - meaning I have excited freshmen girls calling me in desperate need for a well decorated mountain weekend cooler and normally at the last minute (really important stuff I know)! Therefore I hopped in the car and drove swiftly over to my local wally world for none other than a bright red cooler with wheels. As I pulled up to park something came over me. A feeling. A soft feeling.......between my toes. I looked down. In the quick flee to my car I guess I forgot to put on shoes....or change. Still wearing my slippers, or what I would like to call now - my house shoes - I picked up the phone and immediately called my roommate, Meredith. It would have been ok except for what else I had on. Large sweatpants from college, a big hoody, accompanied by my newly dyed jet black hair for what will soon be the most amazing Snooki costume you've ever seen. I looked like a hot mess. Big time. If I were in my own home I probably would have changed if I knew someone was stopping by....big time bummin it. With that, and the laughing support of Meredith, I got out of the car and tried to assure myself that there HAD to be someone who looked as disheveled as me inside those sliding doors. Nope. Like my experience with the church goers a few Sundays ago (read: I Know Better), eyes looked me up and down with a bit of disappointment. Really people?! It's Walmart, where are these high expectations coming from? and where are all the rednecks I normally see? So what did I do....I decided to play "college student". Poor, tired, hungry, with a touch of hangover. I rocked those slippers - which again, in my defense looked like house shoes. I also think that my scary hair gave a hint of bad ass attitude, kind of like a "don't mess with me, I may have a gun in this hoody" vibe. I got my cooler and headed to the cashier. She did a full inspection of the cooler to make sure I wasn't stealing anything. Good thing, too, because in my race to the sporting goods section I forgot I had placed a roll of duct tape inside so I wouldn't have to carry it. Great, now her and Betty Lou the greeter think I tried to pull a fast one on them......I had what she thought was 'guilt' written all over my face, when really I wanted to tell her it was 'embarrassment'. If you know me, when placed in uncomfortable situations I start to sweat. By my appearance it definitely appeared that paying the $6 for duct tape seemed out of the question, though she believed it was an honest mistake. Lesson #2 this month for support of - when in public, get your sh*t together.
Friday, October 21, 2011
The Great American Thanksgiving
I know it's not even Halloween yet, but Thanksgiving is my second favorite holiday (behind 4th of July) and this year it's going to be quite the spectacle. If you havn't read previous posts about my family and how "rare" they are, check out the #Family tab and catch up on your reading.
I got a phone call from my Aunt a few weeks back asking how we could "spice up" this years holiday. Every year we try to do something new. For example, for several
years now we have been using the trick knife made by my Grandfather. It maches the nice silver and we always give it to the guest who hasn't been there before. How it works - - we say grace, and normally what we are thankful for which always ends up having people in tears, then start to laugh and all dig into our food. With Thanksgiving comes Turkey. When the 'guest' goes to cut something it "breaks". Basically swings at a a hinge where the blade meets the handle. The reactions are priceless. Some pretend like nothing happen and try to hold it together, which is hilarious because everyone around them knows that they basically just tried to hide it. Some hold it up and immediately admit to breaking our "best silver", and some, like my brother-in-law Dan, never even pick it up.....Dan is allergic to EVERYTHING and didn't even need to use it at his first Gunn/Hennessey/Barham thanksgiving. Joke was on us, I guess. Other traditions include having tasks given to you depending on where you are sitting or what is under your name card, beer pong, cook-offs for Best ____, Turkey hats, super nice Champagne, etc.
The inspiration, for this great idea, actually stemmed from Halloween. One year in college a group of us went as the Great Thanksgiving. Lesson learned here was if you go as Plymouth Rock, you don't want to leave your friends side at any point in time. Not always the "coolest" costume.
I'm sure I'll be posting pictures from this years holiday, stay tuned. As for halloween - this year I will be going as the ever so (un)popular Snooki. The hair is getting dyed, and the outfit will be as tacky as the original herself. I'll be slightly less tan, but a perfect little Meatball.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Medical Update. I'm going to live. Shocker.
Warning: This is boring and basically an update for the people who know what's been going on and background for those who don't.
Cliff Notes: I'm fine and will be fine. Current diagnosis: Migraines....the numbness and vision is my "trigger"....? Great. Love that.
Doctor. Co-Pay. Doctor. Co-Pay. Bill. Doctor. Co-Pay. Bill. Hospital scare. Co-Pay. Bill. Bill. More Bills. Doctor. Co-Pay. Bill........never ending.
I grew up in a family where you only went to the doctor if your leg was falling off. Literally.....my brother once walked around for 3 days with a hurt ankle before he went to the ER to take care of it. If you were sick, you needed to drink more water, eat better, and weren't getting enough sleep. That was the cure and answer for it all. Times seem to have changed though and back in February I finally visited the doctor for what seemed to be some nerve issues. I had been experiencing excessive shaking and tingling in my hands and arms, sometimes with rapid heart rate. Most of the time I tossed it off as nothing, but on a few occasions it gave me a slight scare. I had never needed a doctor while living in Greenville before so I asked around my office. I went to this guy who was pretty reputable, so I was told. Disaster. Either I blacked out while I was in there or he made stuff up. I left and called my mother and told her he nor a nurse took my blood pressure or listened to my heart, which was weird because that seemed pretty routine at most places, and because one of my 'symptoms' was rapid heart rate. He also prescribed some pretty 'legit' drugs without really running any tests at all. I'm no pill popper, but how did he not know that within the 30 second conversation he had with me. Good to know I don't throw off that vibe...Prescriptions, yet no diagnosis and another appointment 2 weeks later. When I went back, suddenly they had record of my blood pressure. Actual numbers. Hmmm. Sketchy. I didn't confront the doctor but the guy just seemed like a.... well, a big wiener....if you will.
I called around and a good family friend recommended somewhere else and I got in quickly. With a few changes the hand issues went away, but with those changes came intense migraines and a trip to the ER with a HUGE scare. This was the weirdest/coolest/scariest experience of my life. Along with a migraine that made me sick to my stomach, my entire left arm was so numb that when I sat up it literally dragged. I couldn't open my hand. Literally told my brain to open my fingers from its fist and could not do it. Cool, yea, for about 5 seconds, then when I touched it with other arm and didn't feel it, sudden panic set it. I literally started shaking it violently with the working arm and after about 30 seconds some feeling came back. To the ER I went at 3 in the morning. Nothings worse then being there alone......oh wait, there is. Hearing a 70 year old woman whaling and moaning in pain with no one paying any attention to her during a 90 minute wait. The occasional spit up to follow each moan. The fluorescent lights are enough to keep me from going back.
Within the last few months I have had multiple blood tests (not afraid of the needle anymore), an EKG, and a CAT scan. All normal....thank goodness. Reassuring, yes......an end, no. I have follow up appointments and take an orange pill for the migraines as soon as I feel one coming. Hopefully, as annoying as it is, that is all that it is. Crossing my fingers. I've been told/asked to keep a "Migraine Journal" with all the details of each occurance. Isn't that cute? I've always wanted to carry around a mini notebook.
Dear Diary,
Today my migraine was a total bitch. Knocked out my vision in my left eye. FML
LYLAS,
Lacey
Cliff Notes: I'm fine and will be fine. Current diagnosis: Migraines....the numbness and vision is my "trigger"....? Great. Love that.
Doctor. Co-Pay. Doctor. Co-Pay. Bill. Doctor. Co-Pay. Bill. Hospital scare. Co-Pay. Bill. Bill. More Bills. Doctor. Co-Pay. Bill........never ending.
I grew up in a family where you only went to the doctor if your leg was falling off. Literally.....my brother once walked around for 3 days with a hurt ankle before he went to the ER to take care of it. If you were sick, you needed to drink more water, eat better, and weren't getting enough sleep. That was the cure and answer for it all. Times seem to have changed though and back in February I finally visited the doctor for what seemed to be some nerve issues. I had been experiencing excessive shaking and tingling in my hands and arms, sometimes with rapid heart rate. Most of the time I tossed it off as nothing, but on a few occasions it gave me a slight scare. I had never needed a doctor while living in Greenville before so I asked around my office. I went to this guy who was pretty reputable, so I was told. Disaster. Either I blacked out while I was in there or he made stuff up. I left and called my mother and told her he nor a nurse took my blood pressure or listened to my heart, which was weird because that seemed pretty routine at most places, and because one of my 'symptoms' was rapid heart rate. He also prescribed some pretty 'legit' drugs without really running any tests at all. I'm no pill popper, but how did he not know that within the 30 second conversation he had with me. Good to know I don't throw off that vibe...Prescriptions, yet no diagnosis and another appointment 2 weeks later. When I went back, suddenly they had record of my blood pressure. Actual numbers. Hmmm. Sketchy. I didn't confront the doctor but the guy just seemed like a.... well, a big wiener....if you will.
I called around and a good family friend recommended somewhere else and I got in quickly. With a few changes the hand issues went away, but with those changes came intense migraines and a trip to the ER with a HUGE scare. This was the weirdest/coolest/scariest experience of my life. Along with a migraine that made me sick to my stomach, my entire left arm was so numb that when I sat up it literally dragged. I couldn't open my hand. Literally told my brain to open my fingers from its fist and could not do it. Cool, yea, for about 5 seconds, then when I touched it with other arm and didn't feel it, sudden panic set it. I literally started shaking it violently with the working arm and after about 30 seconds some feeling came back. To the ER I went at 3 in the morning. Nothings worse then being there alone......oh wait, there is. Hearing a 70 year old woman whaling and moaning in pain with no one paying any attention to her during a 90 minute wait. The occasional spit up to follow each moan. The fluorescent lights are enough to keep me from going back.
Within the last few months I have had multiple blood tests (not afraid of the needle anymore), an EKG, and a CAT scan. All normal....thank goodness. Reassuring, yes......an end, no. I have follow up appointments and take an orange pill for the migraines as soon as I feel one coming. Hopefully, as annoying as it is, that is all that it is. Crossing my fingers. I've been told/asked to keep a "Migraine Journal" with all the details of each occurance. Isn't that cute? I've always wanted to carry around a mini notebook.
Dear Diary,
Today my migraine was a total bitch. Knocked out my vision in my left eye. FML
LYLAS,
Lacey
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Kevin Bacon
What idiot took this off the air?
I'm curious if there is a camio in the new "Footloose".
Curious enough to actually see it though? Not so much.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)