Wrecking Ball

I came in like a wrecking ball - and I wasn't naked and swinging like Miley Cyrus, instead I was leaning down to pick up a garage door opener (that I never use) that slid off of my center console. Down into my pedals it went, where I knew it may cause an accident, while accelerating from a stop light. All part of the irony of slamming into the Subaru, who was stopping at the next stop light. The thought process of picking up the garage opener was to prevent an accident, when in fact I caused one. Luckily no one was hurt, except for my Jeep that is still yet to be named, and the rear of one navy Subaru. 

The folks I hit were extremely nice and caring - and I know it was genuine - but you may have to be when the girl who just hit you is having a panic attack grabbing her chest, knees, and neck, simultaneously and in hysterics. I probably looked like I was swatting a swarm of bees, because I didn't know what hurt more or what really happened. I leaned down, for what I thought was a brief second, then shot forward in my seat on impact. Literally, the seat shot forward as if I was trying to move it with the adjustment bar and the center console (or burger tray as it has been referred), slid completely off and flew into my CD player. 30 seconds later I calmed down and walked off the knee issue. Thank God my air bag didn't deploy, because it would have smacked me in the face/side of my neck and who knows what would have happened. What looks like a fender bender has turned into my vehicle being determined 50% totaled and needing 3 weeks of replacements and repairs. 

Besides the minor soreness, State Farm has made this process relatively painless. And talk about a small world. When I took my car to 1 of the 19 preferred collision repair centers, I met a gentleman who would oversee my service. He then said, "My estimator will be out in a moment". He walks out, sticks out his hand and introduces himself. At the same time we both say, "I know you, Pat!". It was a friend-of-a-friend who happened to stay at my apartment one weekend back in college during a Clemson home game. We quickly caught up and had some laughs. Then, to make the world even smaller, I ran into the guy (don't worry not literally) that I hit at lunch the next day. Greenville can seem so small. He was still one of the nicest people I have ever met. 

My car and I were reunited after 3+ weeks and it truly felt so good. That was a Tuesday. This past Sunday as I'm laying in bed, hungover from an exciting night at the local dueling piano bar, some friends came in to say goodbye as they were about to make their journey back to Charleston. We hug, tell each other how much fun we had, etc, when 5 minutes later they walk back in. We live on a hill and their car, with the removal of the emergency parking break and some slight confusion, rolled right back into my freshly rewired, revamped and repaired vehicle. I literally thought they were kidding, but with every "I'm so sorry", I rolled further out of bed to survey the damage. Again, it didn't look "too bad", but one visit to my friend Pat back at Image Collision Repair and numbers started to climb. With the hit, the entire inside made a shift to the right, cracking a few of my "important areas", as he dumbed it down for me. With a good sense of humor and nice friends all around, a stinky situation will soon be fixed in no time, but man, what a few weeks its been. I think I might start wearing a helmet. What do you think?

Round 2 Photos:

Apparently this bar is supposed to be a perfect "L" shape to my car. They had just painted it, so the black area shouldn't be showing. The crack on the right hand side is like that in a few spots - thank goodness for a guys, I would have had no idea what I was looking at. And overall aesthetically everything came out a "little tight" one side. Hopefully she'll be fixed in no time. Until then....stand clear.

Food for Thought. Literally.

I never know who reads Hennessey Hits, and I'm not gonna lie, I get a really good feeling when someone out of nowhere says "Lace - your post about....". It lets this 3+ year nonsense live on another day. 

I always post the link to Twitter, but every so often I'll "@" someone on Facebook with a link to the latest rant about nothing. Knowing my friends, I knew mentioning the word "Naked." was sure to get some clicks. And it did. A lot of them. 

One was from a co-worker. The very same co-worker who helped me destroy a box of Samoas the day before. Our discussion led to this post - and the perfect segway from the ending of "Naked." seen here:

"After all, I think I ate half a tray of Girl Scout Cookies at work today. They were Samoas, don't judge. We've all been there. Let your mind wander about that."

I sit in a cube farm known as the "Shark-tank", which is ironic because I used to work at a tourist trap of a restaurant in the Outer Banks of NC, called Mako Mike's. We jokingly referred to it as the "Fish-tank". There were fake sharks hanging everywhere you looked and was promoted to have real sharks. Many of my tables would ask where they were located. After all, we told them in various dining guides we had real live sharks. The literal fish-tank by the hostess stand held a few....but these were no Grady Whites. Calling them a foot long may have been a stretch. I'd go into a long story of how "the gift shop used to be a huge tank, but they outgrew the area so this was a transition period". Amazing B.S. that each one of them bought - much like the touristy t-shirts they all went home with - well, that, and my favorite line of "Try the Mahi Mahi - it's so good they named it twice!".

Anyway, the Sharktank at work is simply named because of the paper maché sharkhead used once for a halloween costume gracing the area. My area of all places. Because of the nature of the cube farm, when you host a conversation, everyone in the area will join in. So when this co-worker mentioned my blog post and referenced my consumption of Samoas, quickly I was corrected with "They are called Caramel deLites". And there it was - another opportunity to be reminded that I am not from South Carolina. Suddenly you had 8 women discussing the names of Girl Scout Cookies. Samoas v. Caramel deLites, Tagalongs v. Peanut Butter Patties - all clearly defining each of us and our geological upbringing. And then, it hit again, another shock to the system. Just when you thought the only difference of a cookie was the name - we find this:

A photograph comparing the 2 cookies and a message -

Girl Scout Cookies are actually made by two different bakeries. 

Therefore ladies (and gents), the North and the South are once again divided. We are not eating the same cookies. I know - groundbreaking news. You want some more truth? Here it comes.

* All fruit loops taste the same no matter the color

* So called "Double Stuf" Oreos only contain 1.86 times the stuf

* Cap'n Crunch, is not in fact a Captain, he is a Commander

* Double dipping doesn't spread anymore germs than the single dip

* One serving size for Nacho Cheese Doritos is ONLY 11 chips

and there's more.... Click to Everything's A Lie. I'm still stuck on the fact that all Fruit Loops are the same. They got me. They got me good. #FoodforThought

Breadstick Boycott

Don't worry, this look was temporary

Somewhere a marketing or sales team at Victoria's Secret is calling me a sucker. They get me every time with these emails and direct mail coupon cards. Come "Black Friday" I am usually the one giving people a hard time about shopping for things simply because they are on sale - seriously I even put these people into levels, click here to read my thoughts on that mess - but for some reason Vicky's gets me every time. This summer, 3 bathing suits and plenty of extras later, I found myself venturing to the mall again with a "free panty card" (yes gentlemen, they send us free delicate's), $10 off cards, etc, etc. Like I said they know what they're doing. Anyway, I did some shopping and browsing among other stores, and then quickly realized it was nearing dinner time. I went to the food court. I chose to eat a meal from Sbarro's. Some kids never learn. In this case, that kid was me. It wasn't till after my next story that I remembered my experience from this past September. If you missed out - by all means, catch up quickly and read my tale of the breadstick.

http://hennesseyhits.blogspot.com/2012/09/dont-eat-food-shaped-like.html

I ordered the same meal. A slice of cheese pizza, a breadstick, and a medium Pepsi. For your reference - I'm a Coke girl, but that wasn't my option. Anyway I sat down again, alone, and enjoyed my dinner with my pink shopping back of treats in front of me. Like anyone eating by yourself in the mall food court you resort to looking at your phone while you grub...so you aren't awkward? Is that why? I guess I forgot I was already alone....in a mall food court. Again. Damn you Chic-Fil-A for being closed on Sunday's. 

I noticed a guy sit down to eat in front of me. A black gentlemen in his mid 20's who chose to get a plate of Asian cuisine. He wasn't there long before he boxed up his food and what I thought was about to walk past me. Instead, he somehow/somewhat lost control of the bag of food and began to pretend to spill it on to my table. Luckily the juices from his Asian dining experience remained in the flimsy white grocery bag. He apologized profusely. "Not a problem", I reassured him and back to my phone my focus went. Suddenly disregarding the food incident completely, he asked if I could give him my number and if he could take me out sometime. This kid doesn't waste any time. With my cell phone in hand, I went with - "Aww thanks maybe if we run into each other again". He followed with "Well, I'm really shy and you're beautiful". I again denied his bold, not shy, kind offer and he said "Ahhh man I gotch you, I got that time. Stay beautiful" and went on his way. First of all, the above grease ball of a picture was what this kid was looking at. Truly I'm flattered. Even I'll admit I was looking far from 'public ready'. Possibly ready for more of a Sunday Wal-Mart trip. Then I had a thought. Maybe that's what all the mall walkers are up to these days. You see these ladies where tennis shoes and walk the mall for exercise. Is that their version of a "Frat Lap"? I did look I came from the gym. Get it ladies.

With that I cannot stress enough that I will not be eating Sbarro's alone in the future. Specifically the breadsticks. Auntie Anne's is just going to have to be my new BFF mall snack. Or better yet, I just need to stay away from the mall.  VS - stop sending me coupons. Like free samples at Sams Club or Costco, if they are in front of me, I will continue to consume them. #FoodCourtProblems

Hell Week

"Hell Week". Most commonly known as the inaugural week among some fraternities in which the new members (pledges) are rigorously abused and tortured as an endurance test. If the pledges make it through Hell Week, then they can become full-fledged fraternity members -- thank you Urban Dictionary.com. For example this may, or may not happen during Homecoming Week, which coincidentally was this week at Clemson. We played Maryland, killed them, and it was amazing. This is not the "type" of Hell Week that I had, however, I did feel like it was a test of endurance, patience, and honestly a reminder that we are only given as much as we can handle (supposedly). Mine was much more of a "real world" experience, and no - not 7 strangers picked to live in a house and have their lives taped, even though once upon a time in my life that was a very close possibility....almost too close. We'll save that MTV story for another day.  Hell Week started on Monday (well kind of). I got a text from my landlord on Sunday afternoon saying that she was coming by on Monday with the gas guy to check out my heater since the winter months were upon us. Great, a proactive approach. I love it. I told her to please let herself in, and let him check it out. Monday roles around, and come 4ish I get a call from her letting me know that the old as the hills heater in my 1940's apartment needs to be, and has been, immediately shut down. And oh yea, there appears to be a crack in it, and you have a carbon monoxide leak. UMMMMMM...excuse me? Isn't that what you hear about on Dateline NBC of families going to sleep and just not waking up? Great...lets rewind here.

Old Stinky

For the past 2-3 weeks I had turned the heat on occasionally when it got chilly (super. Just soakin it in). I hadn't smelled anything, as I guess with a CO2 leak I wouldn't, and as you might know, I've had a weird medical history anyway (click here to refresh your memory), so what I'm about to share seemed like just another hurdle, but now as confirmed by both of my doctors, girlfriend here was cutting it pretty close. The week before Halloween I got an absurd amount of migraines. I'm talking knock me to the floor, sick to my stomach type of pain, and they came out of no where. Because they are so random I try to stick em out and take the meds I have been prescribed to help. One night in particular I went to a friends to get some lessons on my new iPhone 5 (upgraded from a Blackberry what whatttt!). I noted to him that my eye was doing the 'weird blinding thing', I felt my fingers tingling, and told him that I was probably about to get a migraine. I took some Tylenol he had and we carried on. A few minutes later nothing I was saying was making sense. My entire sense of speech was gone. It was so bizarre. I knew what I wanted to say, but just couldn't say it. Like I could talk but it was jumbled. It's hard to explain, but trust me when I say its incredibly frustrating and makes you panic when you realize its happening. He asked what I was trying to say a few times, then I just gave up and patiently we just sat there until I headed home and hopped straight in bed. I called the doctor ASAP the next morning and you would have thought by how fast they got me in there that half my face was drooping off. They completely changed up the approach to my migraines medicine wise. This happened again the Sunday I got back from the mountains, and again baffled my doctors. Once finding out about the leak, I called them back and sure enough, it wasn't but a few minutes to get a response back to hear that I was extremely lucky that I caught this when I did, and should be thankful that I got out and "got some fresh air" at my friends' houses those nights, as well as been working away from home. We'll never know how long it had been leaking or what could have been, but I'm considering myself one lucky lady.

 Tuesday they came to measure for the unit. Wednesday was installation day, which turned into all day Thursday, too. You see I have plenty of luck, but its not always the good kind. The space for the new unit was too small and every piece seemed to have the need to be custom built. There was black dust everywhere. Really wonderful. I got out Wednesday night and saw the new 007 movie. Bad ass, go see it.  When I got out I had 4 missed calls from people in my building all informing me that the men who worked on my heat turned off EVERYONE's. Thus making me probably the most hated tenant in building 4 on the 35 degree November night. I tired calling everyone back but of course it was too late. Throw on some bad family friend news about a brain tumor, and you've got one hell of a hump day.


Thursday - the brightest light of the week. No joke. Seriously the best day of my week. I got more done in the morning at work then I bet most had a in a week and that night I was going to see The Who at the BILO Center with a great group of people. It was highly anticipated. The heater was finally done. It worked. Everyone's gas was turned back on. This is like when the fraternity pledge finally learns that he may actually get to not only go the football game, but not have to drive, and actually get to drink a beer before, during, and after the game, possibly take a nap, and never see another float pomp again. I was ecstatic. Friday was almost just as great. I learned that an electrical issue was also getting fixed, and it had been. My mom was coming to town, she made me long awaited/desired curtains for my bedroom, and my house was getting back to normal.

 Spoke too soon. We went to the Clemson game, came back, I went out for a few more beers at a local bar with some friends down the street, and then came back and snuggled in with my mom. What seemed to be a blink or 2 later (around 3am) I get awoken by a phone call from the neighbor below me. "Lacey, its Adam, I just got up to get a glass of water and there is water pouring into my ceiling". FML. My water heater, this time electric, burst. I had to call a plumber - - or shall I say 20+ and finally one amazing soul named Steven answered. He came out and shut off the water so dear Adam didn't have his own personal waterfall in the kitchen. By the time the Panthers lost, the Ravens won, and my neighbors were over me completely, I had a brand new set of utilities.
When it rains, it certainly pours. In my case this past week, literally. I'd like to think the next week will be easier than the last. It can always be worse. Cross your fingers for me that the CO2 issue is truly what caused the "episodes" of the flare ups recently; I have a follow up this week. And say a prayer for our friend Jeff Fisher.  Jeff found out that his brain tumor is back, and once again declared stage 4. He is unbelievable, and has defied the odds time and time again. In his own words..."I have been dangling from a string at the end of my rope for two years. It is not the time to fall. It is the time to create more rope." Lets get Jeff more rope.



Jeff, my brother Billy, and his friend James, and Stephen



I made People.com?

Last year I was Snooki for Halloween, as seen here. It was a blast, and for once I had a Halloween costume that was relevant. This year I will be in the great mountains of Gatlinburg, TN with some friends, which means I will probably sport the same idea.....only maybe adding a guido baby. I'm frugal, so if I can save a buck and re-wear this gem, it's a win-win. Everyone in my office knows just how much I enjoyed my costume, and being in a laid back, fun, entertaining place of work, the costume has come in handy more than once. Being that we have a top 40 radio station and the Jersey Shore makes for good pop culture comedy, I've broken it out on a few occasions.

As I was sitting at my computer this morning, I got a message from my friend Alan, who said his girlfriend Jenna found me on People Magazine. A while back People.com had a thing up about Halloween costumes. One thing led to another at the office and well, I guess they thought the same thing about my costume. I became 1 of 35 pictures to make it onto the site. Seen in the photo is @DJDramaJ, who I met that night who happened to be Pauly D. This is too much, but oh so real. Click the link for mine and others....

http://www.people.com/people/package/gallery/0,,20058392_20635695_21225775,00.html

Really Stupid Answers

I love game shows (and Steve Harvey, but that's for another day). I would love to be on one. I think I would do well at most, perhaps Wheel of Fortune, Price is Right, definitely not Jeopardy, Double Dare (definitely Double Dare, and yes I'd take the physical challenge), Legends of the Hidden Temple from back in the day, and would even like to be on Family Feud. My family is hilarious and I think putting our minds together we would do well. If nothing else, we would make for an excellent YouTube video down the road. Have you ever watched some of these families? Hilarious. Some of them blow my mind with the answers they provide. For example, "Name a country other than the United States that you admire"... listen to the encouragement from the rest of the family, and then what Donald decides to go with...

You can't just watch one of these, so here is a montage I found of epically bad answers. I got a kick out of this. Do yourself a favor when you're bored, and YouTube Family Feud stupid answers. You'll be busy for, well, lots of minutes.

Kirk Fogg and Olmec

P.S. For you children of the 90's.....did anyone else get so irritated when those idiot kids couldn't put the silver monkey together on Legends of the Hidden Temple? They got so close, and then just couldn't deliver. What I'd give to have that opportunity for the Grand Prize.......to go to camp. Or to at least meet Host Kirk Fogg and the infamous Olmec. #NickelodeonPipeDreams

Wonder what they're up to these days. Olmec would be a major hit in a man cave of someone in my generation. Just sayin....BIG. PIMPIN.

Don't Eat Food Shaped Like...

I went to the mall today to find a few things that I "needed" and striking out on all them led to me eating lunch in the Food Court. I went to Sbarro's, got a slice of cheese pizza, a breakstick, and a medium drink, a #1 if you will. A typical food court meal. Because it was pizza, when asked "for here or to go", I said "for here". I sat down at a table facing the rest of the food court for some good people watching and instead, experienced something new, awkward, and most definitely creepy.....turns out, I was the one being 'watched'. Taking my second bite of my breadstick, I look up, and to my surprise the gentlemen weirdo across from me was taking my picture with his iPhone. I wanted to give the guy the benefit of the doubt, but when the flash went off and he chuckled, I knew exactly what he was doing. Lets just say, I didn't eat another bite of that breadstick (I found this picture online, very similar to my meal so you could really get a feel of what these breadsticks looked like. Use your imagination). I was about to get up and switch tables when two ladies sat down at the opposite end of my 6 person table. I didn't want them to think it was because of them so I stayed and made awkward eye contact with Sir Creeps-A-Lot multiple times throughout my meal. I did what I know best, and tweeted about my situation.

Within moments I got several responses, assuming from my #whatdoido question. One being from my friend Nat, who proposed the idea of taking a picture of him in return. So....awkwardly....I did. I thought about posting the picture on here. Then I thought, no that's terrible. Turns out Nat was kidding....only I found that out after I actually took the picture when he said I was just as bad. Which then made me feel like the creep. That is until someone at work told me I was probably now on the Internet somewhere (Creeper: 2, Me: 1). Great. After telling my tale to another friend, she replied with "Wait, is the awkward, creepy part that you were eating at the food court in the mall or that he took the picture". So now I'm the weirdo?! Wonderful.

Moral of the story. Don't eat breadsticks in public, specifically the mall food court.

Priorities

"The key is not to prioritize what's on your schedule,

but to schedule your priorities" ~Stephen Covey

What's important to me, may not be important to someone else and that's ok... everyone is different. What I find most important are not necessarily the tasks that I have to do at my job, what my home looks like all the time, who I'm impressing, what gadgets I own, or maybe even what I'm wearing. What I have come to discover about myself over the past couple years is that my relationships, whether they be with family or friends, are of the up most importance to me. I realized this early on in college when I had to tell my mother why I was receiving a D in 1 (or 2) of my classes (whoops!). Not only did I realize I had no idea what studying really was, but I came to the conclusion that I was more into making friends and building relationships than what a book had to say. Obviously I had to learn pretty fast how to balance it all out, but never have I passed on hanging out with friends over something some would call "more important"....if I can help it. Starting in high school and continuing on through college, and even still today, I (as well as my group of friends) have lost several friends to tragic accidents. Car wrecks, plane crashes, alcohol, cancer, fire, suicide, stairwells, and horrible acts I'd hate to even mention. These are the things that you never expect to deal with, and pray to God that even your worst enemy would never have to take on. Its all pretty depressing, right? Not really of my norm I write about, but on a day like 9/11 where you're surrounded by news coverage and documentaries on the tragic day 11 years ago...it makes me stop and think. Why doesn't everyone find the relationships in their life the most important?

Perhaps you have been lucky enough to never lose a friend or deal with an unthinkable tragic accident like I have, but at the end of the day all you have is the people around you. To see the network of people impacted by one of these losses I have experienced, makes me think of the thousands of lives lost on 9/11 and who they have touched. It sounds dramatic but we seriously have no idea how much time we or our friends have here. I for one want to soak everyone up as much as I can. Sorry if I ever come across overwhelming.

I try my best to be a great friend to others. You can have a "good friend" but are they really a good friend? Or just someone that is just fun to be around. Would they do you a favor at the drop of a hat, give you good advice, listen to your ups and your downs - or anytime when you need them the most? Are you a priority or something they struggle to prioritize? I am a firm believer in karma, as well as the whole saying 'treat others as you would like to be treated'. If you complain about not having these people then perhaps look closer at yourself. What have you done to be a good friend? Are your relationships a priority in your life? If they aren't, why expect that from others? Again..."The key is not to prioritize what's on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities" ~Stephen Covey. Take a look at the things that are in your life that make you happy. Are they at the top of your list? Sure I hate paying bills, and taking care of life necessities - basically money in general - but after that my relationships and the people in my life are the ones that bring the smile to my face. 99% of the time I take a social setting over anything else. You mean more to me than a television show, an errand I can do tomorrow, and any everyday chore. You, my friend, are at the top of my list.

Don't go diein' on me....

Jill G - Live @ Frankies

Ladies and Gents, allow me to introduce to you, Greenville's newest pop/country/anything-goes vocal star, my friend Jill. You can normally find her singing in the shower, her kitchen, at a party, in the car, downtown, or anywhere that she is standing...sometimes in front of a mirror or window reflection. Her influences are the great Whitney Houston, Celine Dion, Mariah Carey, Carrie Underwood, and basically any diva vocalists that hits notes that most can't. Oh, but Jill Graves can. That's without a doubt. She hits them, and hits them hard. Occasionally they even seem to hit back. She has had a great support system though. Her roommate and vocal "coach", Lindsey, is by her side day by day, smiling and telling her "Mmmm yea, that sounds really good Jill". Words of encouragement from fans such as @ssuttles3, who Jill tells me is her biggest fan, help keep Jill's dream alive. If you have ever been around this vocal talent,  you know you are unable to keep the smile off your face. Literally you won't be able to stop laughing in utter disbelief of the amazing sounds coming from within her. It brings tears to Lindsey's eyes every time she goes for a big one. Recently Jill wanted to capture her audio in digital form. The end of the year kickball party was last night, held at Frankie's Fun Park. A business that provides non-stop fun and fills dreams of vast amounts of middle schoolers.....and one Clemson Graduate - Superstar Jill Graves. For those that don't know, Jill is a triple threat. Her dance moves on and off the field, have literally won the hearts of many. To quote Jill, "If I don't win best dance moves for the booty drop peekaboo then I quit", thus proving her determination in the act of wanting to become a true thespian.....not to be confused with lesbian. With talent like Jill's and her animated personality, who knows where she'll end up! My hope is Fords Oyster Bar for karaoke on Thursday nights, but that's just me. If I were a betting woman, which I am, I would say that there's a good chance. But back to Frankie's. Jill was lucky enough to find a booth in the arcade that charged a mere $5 to record one song of choice and in return are given a CD recording. Just her, a mic, the booth, and her dream. Jill was nice enough to let Lindsey, long time friend and coach, into the 'studio' with her, taking my camera along for video. The video footage could end up on E! True Hollywood Story one day, so consider yourself privileged....its an A Capella version, so please be kind. I was lucky enough to hear the final CD recording, along with die hard Jill Graves Fans, Beth and Micah, and we will say that the quality of the recording was spectacular. No other immediate comments were made upon the performance. You can follow Jill on Twitter at @jgraves87 to keep up with her thespian dreams....again, not to be confused with lesbian.

Chic-fil-a

Today at work I was craving a large, really cold soda. Specifically a Coca Cola Classic. There is no better place to get one than Chic-fil-a. It comes in a huge Styrofoam cup, an excellent insulator, and lets face it, you can't wrong with anything from Chic-fil-a. Even at 2:20 in the afternoon the drive thru line was around the building, so I decided to park and walk in. Thinking I was just getting a drink, I thought I could get in and out. When I went up to the counter I approached what appeared to be a 15 year old kid out on summer break. I ordered my large Coke and asked "Can I also get the lowest nugget count you have?", he replied, "1?", in which I said back, "Can I get like the lowest amount of nuggets you offer" - - thinking he had said 'What' instead of 'One'. He said, "Yea, 1". I was taken back by this. I told the kid, "You mean to tell me I can order just 1 nugget?". He said 'yes' with a smile on his face. If you know me or have tried to tell me anything bogus, I've probably believed you, so when this kid said he could sell me 1 nugget I just wasn't going to walk into being the brunt of a terrible joke. I started laughing profusely by myself because I thought I got the joke and almost fell for it. I thought he was kidding, only this kid didn't start laughing along with me. So I asked repeatedly, if he was serious and he kept telling me he was. So still thinking he was lying, I said, "ok fine, I will have 4"....at least if he was trying to get me I knew that came in a kids meal. He still wasn't laughing and I took my nuggets, giant drink, and left. I got back to my desk today and told a few people. All were in disbelief that you can get just 1 Chic-fil-a nugget. Trying to figure out if I needed to go beat this kid up or not I went to the Chic-fil-a page and sure enough......you can buy 1 single nugget.

As pointed out to me...and I couldn't agree more....could you really just eat 1? I don't think I could. Not from Chic-fil-a. And have you ever noticed that when you really want it the most, it's Sunday, when they are closed? Jesus would want his 1 nugget on Sunday, I know he would.

Dawson and Pacey still have a chance

Google "Ann Curry leaving today show" and get 899,900+ results. Google "Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes Divorce 2012" and get 926,000+ results. Google "Chris Brown tweets about Rihanna grandmother" and get an outstanding 17,500,000+ results.....how is this news? This made me curious. I then Googled "Obamacare". A whopping, yet sad in comparison, 6,580,000. Speaking as someone who is surround by pop culture news everyday, I don't really care about the Chris Brown tweet. I feel for Rihanna and the death of her G-ma, but this week I'd have to say that the split between Tom and Katie came as a little bigger shock, and was definitely the jucier dish. Oprah must be deeevvvaAAsstttattteddd (Cue reading like Oprah giving a way a prize on her show - - you get a car! and you get a car, and you get a car!!) Jimmy Kimmel said it best.

Anyway, this means that James Van Der Beek and Joshua Jackson, also known as Dawson and Pacey, still have a chance with Ms. Josephine Potter. Apparently Katie filed for a divorce because of Tom's crazy scientology rants. I didn't think he had one in a while but Suri always looks miserable, so maybe his Top Gun days of being awesome and manly Mission Impossible moves have left him. Again, probably leading Oprah to watch old home movies of past taped episodes. This one on repeat.........and people say Bieber fans are a little much.  

I hear that OWN - the Oprah Winfrey Network - isn't doing so hot, who knows though....recently pulling in the Kardashian clan to try and boost ratings with a 2 part follow-up. I DVR'd it, and even I couldn't watch. That's saying a lot. Something tells me she will be just fine. I am sure Tom is over at her house right now sipping a Diet Lemonade. Watch out Stedman (Oprah's "spiritual partner"). I love terrible television and am not ashamed to admit it. I also love celebrity gossip, and I have a feeling the TomKat drama has only just begun. Today Katie came out with a statement that she 'fears there are private investigators outside her house'. Swearing it's not paparazzi. We'll see.

In other news, Anderson Cooper came out this morning stating "'I'm gay, always have been, always will be". I can't wait for Chelsea Lately tonight.

Customer Shmervice

I moved this past weekend and prior to the move chose to use DirecTV. The set-up was incredibly easy and fast, the service is so far so good, and I got a great deal for the next 12 months. Today I tried to set-up internet. Charter is Charter. I feel they have the majority of the markets business when it comes to internet. No complaints. The pricing however without a “bundle” is a little high, so I started to look elsewhere. I called AT&T to get pricing and to talk with a customer service representative. The conversation was going great. I gave him some info (first mistake) so he could see if my place was good for the service and then I started asking about options. He asked for my email address so he could send me the info. I gave it to him (second mistake).  At this point he tells me, “Sorry my computer is going really slow”….I responded, “I hope it’s not your internet”, he actually replied, “haha yea, ours is really slow, don’t worry yours will be better”…..right (third mistake). Even with all that it still seemed ok- - everything except for the ridiculous charges he wanted to charge me for setup, which he still said were “deals”, the modem costs, etc. At the end of the conversation I asked if I could call him back first thing tomorrow morning, with every intention to actually call back. AT&T was still a contender….at the time. I wanted to call around and get other pricing and options though – Nick, the customer service rep, apparently knew this. He did the whole, “Well you may not be able to secure these same deals tomorrow…” yada yada yada (**cough**bullshit**cough**). What a guy. Then I said “fine, call me back after 4pm today”.

Ok, great, this will give me enough time to look around. Or so I thought. Nick took it upon himself to place the order anyway, so when I got the confirmation in my email box letting me know that my service would be activated on Thursday, and my bill would be mailed to me, you can imagine the words I may have chosen to use. Frustration really set in when the strong accent speaking gentlemen who fielded my call to cancel, asked to put me on hold for a minimum of 4 minutes, yet left me on hold for a solid 15. I gave up. After I calmed down a little I called back. This time a woman answered. I told her my situation. Same conversation that I had with the gentlemen ensued. She asked to place me on hold, this time for a minimum of 2. I asked, this time Anita, if there was a number I could call should it take a while. She said to ‘trust her’. Great. At this point I’m on my way to a doctor’s appointment. I arrive, still on hold. I wasn’t giving up. Passing the NO CELL PHONE area with my phone to my ear (I know what you’re thinking – what a badass) I walked to the counter. I told the lady briefly that I was on hold with AT&T and apologized and told her that I wasn’t giving up on cancelling, she told me…. “Darlin, say no more”. After telling her what was going on (while I’m STILL on hold) she told me her brief horror story with them from weeks before. Anita’s ears must have been burning, that or she finally got tired of seeing the blinking light on her phone that I was still hanging on the line. She told me it was cancelled and that I do not have service with them. I asked for a confirmation be sent to my email. “Yes ma’am”, she said. I have yet to receive an email…..it’s been hours. I have a pretty good feeling it’s not gonna happen. Makes me wonder if at the beginning of the calls when they say, “This call may be recorded”, they’re serious. In this case I hope so.

Congratulations AT&T, you suck at life….if not your company, then at least Nick from Customer Service. Not sure who that is? Well, look for the guy who refers to himself as “The Internet Gooroo”. He said that’s how he is known around the office.

Runaway Socks

They go in together, but come out alone. How does it happen? and why so often? If you can tell me that you've never had a missing sock, than I can tell you that I don't like you and you are lieing to my face. It's just wrong. Admit it like the rest of us. You've had socks that didn't like you or its "mate", as my mother calls them, and the sock decided to leave your life forever. You save the extra one like one day that missing sock will return. Perhaps, he will ring your door bell. You'll answer and suddenly it will jump on to your cold, clammy foot and you'll be reunited......until it wants its freedom again. Then you'll be shit out of luck. Yea, keep waiting, I'm sure it will return. We all do it. You probably have a few randos in your sock drawer right now (I mean really, why do they leave us, we have a whole drawer dedicated to them!) Or if you're like the Hennessey family growing up, you stick the single and lone socks in "the bag". A bag? Yes, a bag. With 6 members to the family, you can imagine how many "lost" socks there were. Each and every time you had a new lone ranger you had to go thru the bag to see if its long, lost mate was waiting for him, which it never was. Why would it be? That'd be too easy and convenient. Instead you thru the new sock into the bag with the rest. Unless of course it was one of the 'good ones'. Then you'd hold out for a day or two before adding it to the rest. You know what I mean, one of your favorites. We all have them so don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about. You have your go-to's and then the ones you hate to wear. Which usually looks like the pile of endagered socks sitting in the bag. How long do you wait? A few days, a week, a month? Whatever the length of time, it's probably too long.

This is always an issue when doing laundry. Maybe not every time, but far too often, wouldn't you agree? I was discussing this "situation" with my friend Gill last night (@gillweathers - huge twitter fan, follow him). Gill has a "system", but the "system" seems to fail. Are his socks outsmarting him? You decide. Gill will come home, take off his shoes, then his socks. He will throw the socks in his laundry basket together. Not together as in at the same time, but rather, literally put them together like you would after being washed. He then does the laundry, and to his surprise one will be missing when he goes to fold his clothes. How does this happen? Are our socks actually running away, or is the above picture true? Maybe our washing machines are bonusing us a new sock! Chew on that.

Barbie is pregnant?!?

It was just 3 years ago that I would open my facebook to find pictures of frat parties filled with kegs, spring break photos, posts about the night before or what was going on this weekend. These days its about houses being purchased, promotions, engagements/weddings, and the newest addition....babies. My sister and her husband had a baby last February, which is one among many in their circle of friends. A few of my friends are expecting their first within the next few weeks. It's a very exciting time and I couldn't be happier for them. I am more than obsessed with my niece, Sawyer, and she's not even mine! So anyway, back to my original thought. I kept seeing  all these baby posts on facebook and it was basically the only thing that sat on my news feed for a few days (around Halloween specifically). A few days later there was an MTV marathon of Teen Mom on, and then somehow I came across this picture. I can honestly tell you that I don't remember how but I didn't know whether to laugh or just go with my original thought....w. t. f..... It's probably because I find this so intense on the strangest level. Is this a teach method or is barbie just trying to 'keep up' with society? Either way I find this incredibly odd. It used to be that barbies accessories were her comb, purse, or shoes (before they were eaten or chewed by the family dog). Now it's.... a baby. This sparked my interest so I google imaged "pregnant barbie", and I found this gem. Read the caption on her packaging.



 Teen Pregnancy Barbie....."She's so happy she didn't listen to the grumpy old nurse at the clinic". I wondered if she costs extra or if her "trendy diaper bag" came with it, so I followed up the search, and that led me to this.

If you ask me Ginni looks pissed. It might be because she just found her husband boyfriend in a closet with Ken. Does anyone else think he has an incredibly strong resemblance to carrot top? Either way it's creepy, but you can get this happy family for a slim $40 after shipping.

I'm at a loss for words and you will be, too. Do yourself a favor and google image "pregnant barbie". It's a pure sign our culture is going downhill, in the toy department anyway. Your child can even help barbie give birth....oh yea. Google away. It's so weird.

Bert and Ernie say "I Do"?

It's been a long time since I've turned on an episode of Sesame Street. It's nice to know that some things don't change. Like Bert and Ernie. They are still best friends, even after 40 years. However, one thing that could possibly change is there marital status. That's right - Bert and Ernie could be officially made partners in the very near future.


http://www.foxnews.com/us/2011/08/10/petition-underway-for-bert-and-ernie-to-get-married-on-sesame-street/?test=latestnews


Check out the above article from Fox News discussing the online petition to get the 2 together. Sesame Street has already made 'changes' to the show to make so called 'improvements'. Did you know that Cookie Monster got canned because he was promoting childhood obesity. Or that Oscar the Grouch was fired because he had anger management issues? It's ridiculous. Katy Perry can flash her boobs to your 5 year old but a puppet that lives in a trash can can't be in a bad mood. A fuzzy blue character is not the reason your kid is fat. It's because of the Sam's Club size pack of Oreos he just snuck into bed, or the box of macaroni she single handedly devoured for an afternoon snack. If anything they should've left him on there and made him check out by a heart attack....that'll at least prove a point. And poor Oscar getting blamed for low self esteems - - again leave him on there. Kids are getting babied so much these days no wonder there's been an increase in bullying. It's not really an increase in the actual negativity, but rather kids being weak and not being able to defend themselves. They aren't used to it. That's why we need assholes like Oscar around. But back to the point I guess.....


Bert and Ernie may be the best potential candidates on the show for a homosexual couple and they've been targeted as those roles for years, but predominately as a joke. I have no problem with the gay community. I know a handful of people who date their own sex and I think they should have the same rights as everyone else. But, and I don't say 'but' towards them but rather those looking to marry Bert and Ernie - - can't you introduce a new couple to the show, instead of mess with legends of Sesame Street. I mean, first of all, lets be honest. Would a gay man (even if he is a puppet) ever walk around with eyebrows, or brow, like Bert's? No. He wouldn't. And would his boyfriend ever wear a sweater like Ernie's. No, probably wouldn't be caught dead in it. Bert does rock a V-neck and they both seem to enjoy musical numbers, so some stereotypical details are evident, but really people? At what point do we stop? In 5-10 years when I have children of my own am I going to have to explain to my kid that Bert and Ernie are married and have adopted a black baby boy and an Asian baby girl and that one of them is in a wheel chair but its OK that they don't have health insurance because Medicare will take care of it and that everyone is happy on Sesame Street and they all happen to be the same weight because they eat healthy, etc, etc, etc.....


It's nonsense. Leave Bert and Ernie alone. In fact what I'd like to see is MTV pick up Cookie Monster and Oscar and make some sort of messed up "reality" show.

A License to Kill

Once you turn 65 you should have to take your drivers test again. If you disagree, it's most likely because you are over the age and you know you will fail. If you think you could pass, then what's the big deal? My parents are closing in on that age and they are fine drivers. Maybe a little slow at times but that's because the idea of multi-tasking on a cell phone or eating a sandwich is just too much for them. I'm more referring to the old lady who can barely see over the steering wheel or the elderly couple who's biggest entertainment of the week is getting out to the store for their fiber one bars or bag of cat food. I think it's great that the elderly are independent, I just think that a little refresher course would be nice every 5 years or so. I also would love to know why they love to drive Lincolns, or better known as Cop cars. Once you turn a certain age do you want to drive an ugly car?

I'm gonna say, what I know you've been thinking

Is that a man or a woman? God I hate that - feeling awkward for someone when they don't realize how awkward they should be feeling. I hope and pray that never ever will someone question whether my one day child is male or female. And you know what, I won't let that happen. Do you think the possible man-woman behind the counter knows what you and I are thinking? Are they doing it just to mess with us? Sometimes I think so. I mean, Pat has to know that his/her hair is shaped in such a way that it could be either gender. I know Jesse knows that her/his pants are just baggy enough to where I can't see a potential hoohah. Does Jamie wear that shirt because he wants to cover up his man boobs or because she doesn't want you to see that she has boobs in the first place......its all so misleading. How are you gonna figure it out, you ask yourself. Ahh Hah! I've got it! I'll ask them a question! Damn you're a clever SOB, patting yourself on the back. But no, nope. Just when you think you've got them figured out Alex opens his/her mouth and BOOM - - you have no f'ing clue. You just say thanks....Chief. And go about your day. I don't think I'm alone here. You may say, Hennessey, you are coming off a little on the bitchy side. I'd say - - Nay. I think I'm simply stating a situation that we have all run into, maybe a week, month, or even year ago. But I bet you anything that now that I have brought this topic to the surface of your mind, you will soon be laughing in agreement. Here's a couple to leave you guessing....

yeesh....we'll start with some "easy" ones

this may be too obvious, too

and of course SNL's Pat