Last year I posted about this glorious time when our friend David rallies the gentlemen of Greenville together to raise money for a good cause, all while engaging in a once trendy, now hilarious facial hair display - the mustache. David has been traveling out of the country for a few months with no official return date, so imagine my excitement when my facebook account alerted me of the invite to the "3rd Annual Darty Stache Bash", thus securing his return, as well as marking another historic milestone in day party ridiculousness on Swanson Court. As I started reading, I couldn't help but laugh at the rules and this years awards. Though March officially starts Friday, facial hair of any variety is allowed until March 15th, after which point only a mustache is allowed. David defined a mustache as an island of hair that is at least 1cm (root to root) from the nearest body of facial hair. As we saw in last years competition, the possibilities are endless with your design. The invite also encourages all ladies to please come bare witness to what fine men our community will represent at the Darty (Day Party) on the 30th - the finale of Mustache March. This Years New Award Categories (per the invite):
Best of Show The name basically sums it up. This award is reserved for the most spectacular specimen produced over the course of the month. This is utterly subjective to the judge's personal opinion, no matter how revealing that may be.
Most Disturbing When you look at this mustache, goosebumps will appear in places you didn't know you had follicles. If you saw a layman on the street with this mustache, you'd warn other peoples children about this man.
Most Fitting Sometimes the stars align and a man becomes something... more, with a mustache. This award is given to the mustache that makes a man greater than the sum of his otherwise wholly inadequate parts.
Dirtlip Award The little follicles that couldn't. The recipient of this award can only take solace in the fact that this is all for charity.
Besides raging for a day and possibly laughing at our friends for the majority of the month, the main goal of it all is to raise money for charity. All the fine faces that show up to Davids at the end of the month donate at least $20 to have a good time and this year portions of the proceeds will help provide fresh produce to needy children of our community with Project Host Soup Kitchen. Ellen Hines Smith Girl's Home will also be included in this years donations (www.spgirlshome.com), as well as The Children Shelter of the Upstate (www.childrenshelterupstate.org). So you see, it's all in legitimate good fun. Looking forward to see what some of these guys come up with.... and possibly with what they don't.
I'm in a complicated relationship. I know it. I don't care. And I want to share it with you, because I think you will probably understand. In fact, I'm not just in one, I am in multiple. The first, and longest, is with Dora the Explora (my Explorer). Or as I like to also call it/her the "Exploder". I was once told that FORD stands for Fixing Or Repairing Daily, and sometimes I feel like it. Now for the most part, she has been a real trooper. Driving up and down the East Coast, back and forth to weddings, holidays, vacas, etc. So I really can't complain. Except for when it comes to my buns. That's right - - my non-toasty backside, that I jokingly call the extension of my lower back - - my gluteus maximus if you will. My car has no seat warmers and for that I curse the designer of this vehicle who must have grown up in the sunny lands of somewhere not here, because just as I get to work, the inside of my car is finally reaching a reasonable degree on an icy winters morning. A real first world problem I know, but none the less a huge strain on Dora's and my relationship. She redeems herself with incredible AC and a flashy sunroof, but these frozen cheeks just can't handle the frost. Chicken Fingers. How I love you so. Unfortunately though you grew up on the children's menu and society has deemed our relationship an unfit match. You're perfect for a hangover brunch and I know that if I go somewhere and for some reason can't find anything I like, you will surely be there for me....just, on a paper menu with a side of crinkle fries and crayons. I love to love you, but I'm 26. Not 6. It's complicated.
The real thing, from Kate herself
As a freshman in college I had a roommate named Kate. She wore the fugliest old lady slip-on house shoe/slippers around the dorm. Kate, you know I love you and I'd like to formally apologize for hating on you. My delicate size 6 feet have gotten unusually used to wearing slippers around the hard woods of my apartment. I blame it on the chill of the floor or the 85 year old woman who has snuck into my soul this winter. Mine are somewhat adorable if I do say so myself, but still, fashion is out of the question. Thank God I live alone. My DVR on a Thursday night. It has to hate me. Not only for what I'm actually recording, but for what's still pending from the week prior. Simply put, it's the best $10 I spend a month. I'm embarrassed, yet proud of the length of commitment I have put into some of these series. I have a love-hate relationship with Grey's Anatomy, Glee, Project Runway, Breaking Bad, Law & Order: SVU, The Bachelor, Chelsea Lately, Modern Family, Parenthood, The Biggest Loser, and a few others that run seasonally. Obviously it's a little much, and what some would call terrible television, but they are invested relationships. Hence the need to record. Some over lap and when it comes time to choose, peace out Glee. It's complicated. Oh the troubling world of relationships.
The Harlem Shake videos are everywhere, so naturally a few of our radio stations at work jumped on the viral trend and made our own. The girl in the heinous, pink, faux fur jacket in the front right corner is yours truly. A $5 purchase I made from a department store in college for a techno party at the Sigma Nu lake house.... #GloryDays. I knew there was a reason to save it all this time. 3 years of hoarding for :30 seconds of pure dance magic. Jealous of my moves? They come with the jacket. Now taking bids. Don't be shy. If you forgot the holiday and need to get a card for that special someone, perhaps one of these gems would do the trick...nothing says 'I love you' like a Walgreens greeting card. Unless it is one of these, then I'd laugh and find you charming. #EasyToPlease Happy Valentine's Day. xoxo
The Grammy'swere this past weekend. Highlights for me personally were performances by Mumford & Sons, Fun., and The Black Keys. I thought Kelly Clarkson killed it and for maybe the first time ever was disappointed in what Carrie Underwood had going on. The Disney Princess look wasn't doing it for me. I was waiting for the windblown attack to the song, with fans and giant gusts of air coming at her from all angles, but perhaps I've been practicing in my car one too many rides home from work. A girl can dream. Why do you think I keep my hair so long? Kidding. Kind of. I sound just like her. Anyway, the long overdue and highly anticipated vocal return of Justin Timberlake came to surface with his performance of "Suit and Tie". '7th Heaven' isn't just a show Jessica Biel starred in back in the 90's. No Sir. Because if that were my husband, and that's what I was watching from the front row....watch out! I bet they left after his performance. Or then again, maybe not. They have been off the scene for a while and after all, THEE Mr. and Mrs. Carter (that's Jay-Z and Beyoncé, Mom) were seated directly to their left, but I bet they skipped the after party to have their own. Hott stuff. Now that he's back on the scene, lets hope for a future SNL hosting - Valentine's Day is coming up, perhaps a digital short 'Dick In the Box' reunion? Or maybe just a couple late night show stops? This is my favorite with my dear friend Jimmy Fallon:
ABC's 'The Bachelor' is in full swing. Look to your left and/or right and the chances of finding someone who watches are pretty good. I'm guilty and have been for many seasons. It's great, terrible reality TV. So when I heard that the E! network was about to air a parody of the show, my interest was peaked. 'Burning Love' started out as an internet series, but is doing so well it's making the jump. It has special appearances made my Kristen Bell, Jennifer Aniston, Christine Taylor, Michael Ian Black, and is produced by Ben Stiller, to name a few. With a few faces from Chelsea Lately's round table appearing, and the actual similarities to the show, it didn't take but a few seconds to get a laugh out of me...here is a sneak peak:
Anyone who watches The Bachelor is sure to find this humorous.....and sadly, so true, feel free to pass along. It's set to air February 25th, with a new internet season breaking out Bachelorette style on February 14th, conveniently Valentine's Day. What clever planning.
Speaking of the over commercialized holiday, my second favorite woman in the world (second to my own mother of course) is Mrs. Barb Thompson. Robbie, one of my closest friends growing up and to this day, has one great set of parents and they treat me like one of their own. Mrs. Barb is notorious for sending me packages filled with treats from J. Crew and homemade goods from her kitchen for every holiday known to man. I tease that she's gonna have to go up a size if she sends this much again because she's gonna make homegirl down here in SC fat. But who doesn't love a good cookie, am I right?! With Valentine's Day right around the corner I encourage you to indulge ladies and gents, and I'm not just referring to the sweets. Most people hate the holiday, run from it, or ignore it all together. It's incredibly built up, I get it. I am one of those people. My favorite V-day was painting a living room and getting take-out with a boyfriend. My point is, do something you want to do with the person/people you enjoy doing it with. That's indulging. Whether it's a cookie or an errand, Happy Valentine's Day.
And yes, it's a week early. But isn't that the new trend? Celebrating early so you (secretly) aren't making a big deal of the holiday?
