Terribly Awesome

Talk about first world problems. Our DVR broke and not only won't record, but we lost all the terrible television we love. I moved in with Lauren almost a year ago, and I would like to give her all of the credit for my new found appreciation of the BRAVO network. As in "Bravo, you're an idiot". We have jointly decided that the DVR decided to purge our recordings as an intervention. Tonight we had to decide between Scandal and Party Down South. As Lauren mentioned, it's a choice no one should have to make. I'll let you decide what we each chose. With our constant recordings, I will now have to put in the effort to find out when these shows actually air. 

Every Real Housewives....with the real passion for Beverly Hills and Atlanta.

Who doesn't love a good ecigarette? Get after it, Kim. Vanderpump Rules is just as competitive when it comes to our DVR. With each series having multiple nights of reunions recently, the DVR is clutch.

Clearly Stassi has some feelings to share with the group. Terribly awesome. The next best "reality" programming I tune into is Party Down South. A South Carolina version of my beloved Jersey Shore. Feast your eyes on this fun crowd...

There's a trend going on here, and I'm not referring to the above 90's throwback disaster of the unzipped jean short era. I'm referring to the new idea of southern television. Enter Southern Charm, filmed in Charleston, SC. 

Now that the Bachelor is over, Lauren and I need our faux romance fix. Thanks to friends Lindsey and Jill - who clearly have the same interests as us - we found Are You The One? It's just as bad as it sounds. Leave it to MTV...

Other activity - 30 by 30, Chelsea Lately, Naked and Afraid, Keeping Up With The Kardashian's, Modern Family, Dancing with the Stars (that's mine - much like her feelings about me wanting to see a professional live magic show, Lauren doesn't get it), the occasional movie, and of course Homeland (hurry back to me). 

I have no doubt I'm missing something. Moral of the story - I love Sunday's, I'll never get to all of this without a renewed DVR, and God bless On Demand.

The Old Shoe

Have you ever had a pair of shoes that you love so much you just can't bare to get rid of them? They have been around the block a time or two, maybe even held a dear spot in your closet for several years, and time after time your Spring cleaning can't dare to let them go. I've had those shoes, and I recently gave mine away. 

Much like mine, your pair may bring out the best....and worst....in you. They still look good - wearable, broken in - yet you know deep inside the miles you've put in and effort to keep them together. On the outside, and to the next owner, the look may be in style, the "soul" still in tact, but you see the rough edges and have dealt with the embarrassing feeling of gluing that (literal) sole back together #wedges. It's never the best feeling, but you like the way they look on you, so you mend the shoe back to health, thus keeping the long term relationship going for a few more months. 

An old pair of shoes are reliable. Good to you. Dependable. Safe. They're typically comfortable. They are, in essence, your favorite. You know they're a good fit, but eventually those straps may fade, they seem to get worn - possibly stretch allowing excess space, and you might start looking for a replacement. If you don't, your shoes will let you know it's time by giving up. You are reluctant on what you want next - the same pair? Something different? My mother has kept a pair of yellow Nike tennis shoes for as long as I can remember. So long, I think she owns 2 pairs because there is no way these gems still exist. I give her a hard time of being a "pack rat", though when it comes to a relationship with an old shoe - I get it. It's hard to let go. You want to toss them aside, yet the memory and existence of that dear beloved footwear will reign on. I still laugh at the stories of those "ugly" yellow shoes. They're practically family. Being a Hennessey and pure product of my mother, Carol, I struggled with releasing my old shoes. Who knows, maybe one day I will find a similar pair or will come full circle and they'll make their way back into my closest. Regardless, we've all got an old shoe or two that needs a good evaluation, possibly a refresh, or maybe just a good stroll around town. #theperfectfit

Fingers Crossed

So The Bachelor ended Monday. #JUANuary is officially over in more ways than one. Not sure where we lost him, but he started out as such a stud and then suddenly the "turdiness" came out, By the end I found myself calling him an ass. If you know how it all ended I guess I can see both sides. If you don't click here. Hot. Mess. 

No reason to say "I love you" to Nikki if he didn't mean it and I can appreciate honesty more than anything. He still wants to be with her and at the end of the day showing you want to be with someone is the most important. Did Nikki look like an idiot? Definitely. But if she's actually happy, more power to her. It's only a matter of time before she realizes it's not gonna happen though.

With one ending comes a new beginning - hopefully. Fingers crossed. For months, years, longer than I probably think, I have told my friend +David Stone that he needs to sign up for ABC's The Bachelor. On paper and in person, David would be the perfect candidate. Not only being a business owner, home owner, and just a genuinely nice human being, David has the desire to travel and a youthful spirit. Of course the lady aspect of the show would peak his interest, too. Like I said, perfect for the show. 

So if David wasn't going to fill out the application, I was going to do it for him. So I did. David got a call this week for a future phone interview. Funny thing is I could actually see him with Andi, pictured above, the next bachelorette. Obviously too early to tell, but knowing David, there may be a future secret to keep.....or share with everyone. Go David - get that passport ready.

Food for Thought. Literally.

I never know who reads Hennessey Hits, and I'm not gonna lie, I get a really good feeling when someone out of nowhere says "Lace - your post about....". It lets this 3+ year nonsense live on another day. 

I always post the link to Twitter, but every so often I'll "@" someone on Facebook with a link to the latest rant about nothing. Knowing my friends, I knew mentioning the word "Naked." was sure to get some clicks. And it did. A lot of them. 

One was from a co-worker. The very same co-worker who helped me destroy a box of Samoas the day before. Our discussion led to this post - and the perfect segway from the ending of "Naked." seen here:

"After all, I think I ate half a tray of Girl Scout Cookies at work today. They were Samoas, don't judge. We've all been there. Let your mind wander about that."

I sit in a cube farm known as the "Shark-tank", which is ironic because I used to work at a tourist trap of a restaurant in the Outer Banks of NC, called Mako Mike's. We jokingly referred to it as the "Fish-tank". There were fake sharks hanging everywhere you looked and was promoted to have real sharks. Many of my tables would ask where they were located. After all, we told them in various dining guides we had real live sharks. The literal fish-tank by the hostess stand held a few....but these were no Grady Whites. Calling them a foot long may have been a stretch. I'd go into a long story of how "the gift shop used to be a huge tank, but they outgrew the area so this was a transition period". Amazing B.S. that each one of them bought - much like the touristy t-shirts they all went home with - well, that, and my favorite line of "Try the Mahi Mahi - it's so good they named it twice!".

Anyway, the Sharktank at work is simply named because of the paper maché sharkhead used once for a halloween costume gracing the area. My area of all places. Because of the nature of the cube farm, when you host a conversation, everyone in the area will join in. So when this co-worker mentioned my blog post and referenced my consumption of Samoas, quickly I was corrected with "They are called Caramel deLites". And there it was - another opportunity to be reminded that I am not from South Carolina. Suddenly you had 8 women discussing the names of Girl Scout Cookies. Samoas v. Caramel deLites, Tagalongs v. Peanut Butter Patties - all clearly defining each of us and our geological upbringing. And then, it hit again, another shock to the system. Just when you thought the only difference of a cookie was the name - we find this:

A photograph comparing the 2 cookies and a message -

Girl Scout Cookies are actually made by two different bakeries. 

Therefore ladies (and gents), the North and the South are once again divided. We are not eating the same cookies. I know - groundbreaking news. You want some more truth? Here it comes.

* All fruit loops taste the same no matter the color

* So called "Double Stuf" Oreos only contain 1.86 times the stuf

* Cap'n Crunch, is not in fact a Captain, he is a Commander

* Double dipping doesn't spread anymore germs than the single dip

* One serving size for Nacho Cheese Doritos is ONLY 11 chips

and there's more.... Click to Everything's A Lie. I'm still stuck on the fact that all Fruit Loops are the same. They got me. They got me good. #FoodforThought

Naked.

Naked ice skating. I said in my last post I'd fill you in. Sometimes I honestly wonder where, and definitely why, my mind goes and wanders where it does. To really think about my train of thought and how I get from point A to point B so quickly is comical. In this case I was thinking about the Olympic ice skaters as I watched them perform. Then I thought about my own ice skating experience this winter. Then I went back to the Olympics and how badly it must hurt to fall. I was terrible after all. How badly your raspberry must be on your thigh...or on, well, another body part. For example:

Now picture that naked. Go ahead, watch again. I know, right?! Terrible. Then of course my mind wandered into uncomfortable territories of paired skating, ice dancing, etc. Allow your mind to wander with this image:

Naked. Lots of exposure there. Let's keep the leotards, shall we? Not long after creating a new Olympic sport, sure to gain viewership much like one of my favorite shows - Naked and Afraid - I ended up in a conversation about another hair brained idea - Cardio Computers. My co-worker and long term friend, Hannah, had her father create her a stand up desk. It's actually really cool and an excellent display of craftsmanship, if I do say so myself. One end has short legs (about a foot long) and the others go to the floor. This way, she can add it to her current desk and remove it as she sees fit. There were 2 reasons for the standing desk. 1) She is tired of sitting all day working as a Creative Designer with little movement, and 2) it's healthier. Per usual, my mind wandered. 

How do I sit > eww, mostly hunched over at my desk > what can I do > I walk to the printer a lot > we DO take occasional "Frat Laps" around the building > what about.... insert image of Dwight Schrute on the exercise ball/fitness orb > insert image of me doing that > insert thought of my own co-worker with scissors > I laughed > what else? > biking is healthy > pedaling at my desk > pedaling for energy > energy for my computer > pedal to keep your computer on > the faster you pedal, the faster your Internet > the faster your Internet, the more gchat conversations > Cardio Computer. #Boom.

I don't see that happening. After all, I think I ate half a tray of Girl Scout Cookies at work today. They were Samoas, don't judge. We've all been there. Let your mind wander about that.

I'll leave you with this gem. She didn't see it coming. Clearly. $10's says she would have thrown in the towel if she was naked. #gamechanger