I know better

This morning, around 11:45am, I ventured out with a minor hangover from a Clemson win over Florida State. I made a mistake, and it's one I've made one too many times.

I've been in South Carolina long enough to know that if you literally just woke up and want immediate food, and you decide to get dressed in sweatpants, a sweatshirt, flip flops, with a paw tattoo still on your face your best bet is to go through a drive through. This ensures that all the Church goers (who hopefully prayed for you as well) won't look at with you a face of disappointment. But no, not today. I wasn't really thinking and I made my way over to the 'nice part of town' for what I hoped would be a Firehouse Sub. I walk in and the place was packed. With 5-7 faces of disgust upon me, and what was sure to be a 30 minute wait, I turned and walked out. Went across the street to a Panera Bread. As I go to enter the building I notice an elderly couple getting out of their car in the handicap spot closest to the door. I wait and hold the door open. As the man approaches, helping his wife on crutches I notice not only did he just leave church, but his name tag stated that he was the priest. This is what I call a double whammy. However I would like to think that regardless of the visual I was giving this man, I at least got points for waiting for them and holding the door. As he approached he said, "Man, how 'bout them Tigers". FANTASTIC. He likes Clemson! Wanting to gain more good graces with this man, I replied with jolly banter and big smiles. Assuring him that I felt wonderful and chose this 'relaxed' outfit, not resorted to it by the feeling of exhaustion brought on by day drinking. As we stould in line, one next to the other, pretending to pick out what we wanted to eat off the menu board (and by we, I mean me), he continued to enquire about my life. Questions as to where I lived, how old I was, what I did for a living, where I grew up, what brought me to Greenville, if I was in a relationship, if I was planning on being married, and more. I started to sweat. Then i wondered if he noticed, which only made it worse. Suddenly the sweatshirt was highly unnecessary. I've never wanted to order a panini so badly in my life. Finally to the register. Ordered. Gave my frequent buyer card they slide each time. What do you know - I have a FREE pastry. Excuse me, sir? Would you care for a danish? Heaven, here I come.

Moral of the story - on Sundays in the 'Bible Belt', after an entertaining social evening put a little more effort into yourself if you choose to be in public between the hours of 9am and 2pm.