Douchebag Debauchery

Urban Dictionary declares a douchebag as an individual who has an over inflated sense of self-worth, compounded by a low level of intelligence, behaving ridiculously in front of colleagues with no sense of how moronic he appears. Such as Your friend is a real douchebag. Synonyms include: jerk, asshole, dipshit, moron, and assface.

Take a few seconds to reflect upon any and all douchebags you ran into this past week. You may have the best luck looking within your workplace. Hopefully not too many. If you are unaware if you surround yourself with douchebags, perhaps I can help. There are several types of douchebags, some more severe then others, lets discuss shall we.

Douchebags can come in all shapes and sizes. Your "go to" stereotype is probably that of the Jersey Shore. But let me stop you right there, those are my boys. I'd be lieing if I said I wouldn't want to hang out with Vinny and PaulyD.

Yep. They love me.

I'd be their Snooki any day. Don't judge. Moving on. So I guess we can touch on their type of physicality first. Big. Muscular. Juicehead Gorillas (now do you see why they aren't in the douche category - that is more of a Ronnie or 'Situation' type). These #1 douchebags spend more time in the gym than anywhere else. They use protein shakes as a way of life, and want to be more tan than the average Mexican. I do, too. Does that make me a douchebag, no. It doesn't. You know why, because I am not walking around with my arms raised off my sides with my chest out like I have something to prove. Guys, if your chest is bigger than mine, then you might be a douchebag. If you have to impress a girl by talking about how much you can press, or we catch you staring at yourself as you walk by the glass window just to spot your reflection, well you might be a douche. If you buy your hair product at Costco or Sam's club to save money, you might be a douche. If you have a design buzzed into your fade, you wear sunglasses literally at night, or you smell as if you bathed in cologne or axe body spray - - guess what? Yep. You guessed it. Douchebag. All of these stereotypes, are just that. I realize that. But I ask you this before moving on, where do stereotypes come from? Someone had to form them. They are, in this case, a trend - a fad - that at some point became "cool" to exploit. Take MTV as an example, or this YouTube clip (an oldy but goody - man, college seems like forever ago). If you've been easily offended or have started getting defensive, I apologize. Turn off your bluetooth earpiece and share your concern with a comment.