Douchebag Debauchery part 2

Excuse me, but I just have to show you this guy.

I have a good feeling he was a type #1 back in his day.

Seriously? I can't decide what I think about this. Clearly his outfit is serious, because hello, they are jorts, and jorts are an American symbol of awesomeness. However, that being said this man is not. Is he cross eyed? I can't tell. All I know is it looks like he is trying to play his penis as an instrument and swaying like he has to use the restroom (aka outhouse) instead of playing the air guitar. Thank you iPhones for your impeccable talent for grabbing horrific concert footage.

In his defense, at least he was keeping to himself, remaining in his own space, and only doing damage to our eyes. We all have seen, better yet heard, THAT guy at the bar or public event that is just plain LOUD. Mix in overwhelming body odor and an oafy smile and you've got douchebag #2. He's normally yelling at the tv in the bar, trying to call the players by their first name because he knows them of course, and everyonce in a while when a girl walks within 10 ft of him, he'll call out to her like she might actually stop. Followed by a head nod to his equally oafy friend like he's gonna 'tap that' later. Sorry big guy, my guess is you're going home alone, that or to jail because you managed to pick a fight with the only other people in the place who would talk to you. Whether you got the shit beat out of you or not, you won, right? You have one thing going for you, VOLUME. You could be 5 ft, 120 lbs, or known to your friends as Big Foot but either way when they walk in, they know you're there. Or because its YOUR bar. It's YOUR part of town. Out of your element I bet you're a gentle flower, still cocky as a USC graduate, but somewhat of a nice guy at least. But still we ask, why are you such a douchebag? It's like you want the group of people across the room, 8 tables away, to hear you laughing - and for them to know that you know every word to every song. Ever. Take Captain Douchebag for example. Proves that whether by land or by sea, a douchebag you may be....

This is NOT his first rodeo. He even has props. My guess is that he was waiting for just the right time to volunteer his iPod to play whats sure to be his ring tone. How perfect to have an empty bottle just when you need it. Man, I bet he is wasted! Hey Gilligan, you want another beer - not now Chief I'm in the zone.......but you already know that because you heard him tell his friends 5 minutes ago.